Rock and a Hard Place

I'm kinda bummed tonight. After my earlier post about Murphy and the diabetes and the shots, I felt quite confident in my ability to make it work tonight. He and I both had a couple calm days and had seemed less aggressive when I would pet him and play with his fur and skin where I would need to give a shot. So, tonight, I once again got the needle ready, gave Murphy his supper and he gobbled it down, drank some water then promptly hopped up on my lap. However, even with my calm talking and letting him lick my hand and arm, as soon as I made a move toward his head or back, the snarls and teeth came out. After several attempts, I finally discarded the hypodermic and gave up once again.

I cannot justify the restraining and pure anger that would be created in my fourteen year old dog every day for the rest of his life. Plus, being single, I don't have someone readily available in the evenings to help me hold, muzzle and restrain him. And, even if I were able to give him a shot tonight, there is certainly no guarantee that I could pull it off again for several days.

He is now lying on the sofa watching me with still suspicious eyes. My heart hurts because I feel like I am signing an early death warrant for my good friend for many years. He has Cushing's disease which has enough issues, but is being treated by a pill (which he is fine with taking), he also has high thyroid levels, but is also taking a pill for that, which seems to be working.

I know Murphy well enough to see that he doesn't feel well and I just can't bring myself to agitate and anger him more on a daily basis with this shot. It is kind of a Catch-22 because he would probably feel better if he could get the shots, but I just can't do them. I cannot put him into a headlock and restrain him on the floor or in a holder for these shots every day. He would hate me. I can't afford to take him to one of the local PetStores or to the vet every day for the rest of his life, so I am torn over what to do.

If he were human, I would probably be arrested for considering withholding medication which he needs...but, he isn't human, he is just a dog. But, he is my dog, my pet, and I only want him to be happy and live peacefully as long as he can and a daily fight with me over a shot isn't very peaceful. I realize that there is war, crime, abuse, hunger and so many things in the world of greater impact, but this is what consumes my mind now.

I ask your prayers over what to do about Murphy. We both have heavy hearts tonight.

Jimmy