"Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words." - St. Francis of Assisi

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Advent Day Twenty-five, December 21 - Jimmy lost his temper

“For God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son. Anyone who believes in Him will not die spiritually, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

One thing I’ve learned by doing a daily journal through both Lent and Advent is that I tend to hold myself more accountable than I ever have before. This year was my first Lent daily journal and is my second Advent to do this and I am finding out all manner of disturbing little things about myself. Today I had to ask forgiveness for a recent episode of temper I had. As a small boy and into my teen years, I had a ferocious temper and would lash out in word and fist if rubbed the wrong way. And it didn’t take a lot of rubbing.

In my day, there was no such thing as a ‘time out’ and my parents would sentence me to hard labor in the yard or the garden for my outbursts, or for more vocal responses, I lived with a bar of soap hanging from my mouth. Eventually, through their love, patience and not giving up on me, I began to change for the good. Plus, growing up spiritually helped me, too, because I learned that God wanted us to turn that cheek and go that second mile if it meant my Christian witness would not be harmed. And….I did some harm for a number of years.

Anyway, a few days ago I lost my temper and it wasn’t as much what I said, but how I said it and what I did. (Now aren’t you all wondering?) As per my history, I didn’t give any thought to how this other person was affected; until it was pointed out to me this morning….I denied it….for awhile….then, finally, knew I had to apologize. And I have always hated to apologize. Hated it. But, today, I knew I had to and before I ate lunch, I manned up and made the call. It went well… very well… and I felt the burden lifted from my spirit. And I felt loved again. All warm and fuzzy for doing the right thing.

God loved us and sent His Son. As bad a person as I can be. And, maybe you can be. He still loves us enough to send His Son to be born as a baby in Bethlehem over 2,000 years ago so that I, Jimmy, can have the hope of being a better person and living with Jesus forever. I. Do. Not. Deserve. It. Not then…not now…not in the future. But, it wasn’t up to me. God loved me and this whole world. And, just as the wise men may have asked themselves at that birth, I still wonder at times, “What can I give Him?” And in the words of my favorite, but rarely sung, Christmas song from a few days back…..”I can give Him my heart.” And I do. Are you preparing your heart for Christ? Do you need to clear the air with God, or someone else? He’s waiting.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

1 Comments:

At 6:11 AM, Blogger scatterbrained said...

I posted on my blog and zipped over to read yours. Boy was I surprised to read how much what you wrote was like reading about my life. I lost my temper. I said things that are impossible to take back.

I now understand why God wanted me to read your blog. He has been using your words to crack through the barricade I erected against him when my mom moved in with me several years ago.

I find it so hard to have her here. I do not know why God put it on my heart to have her live with me. We have not ever had a good relationship. She is the one who allowed not so nice things to happen to me as a child and I find myself wanting to see her suffer so I said things I never should have.

My heart has become hard. God put it on my heart to buy a home my mom could share with me when she could no longer live on her own. Believe me, I did not think it would be so soon. She is healthy etc, but when the economy crunched, she could no longer afford to live on her own. I wanted to be obedient but all I have been is angry since my mom moved in. All I see when I see her is her betrayal.

After my display of anger yesterday, I knew things had to change so I awoke this morning and gave my heart back to Jesus!

Please pray for me.

 

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