"Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words." - St. Francis of Assisi

Friday, April 08, 2005


I caught him tonight. My suspicions have been on alert for some time now, but I could not prove anything. One by one, small items were disappearing; a mouse pad, a USB cable, a stylus, the box of blank CDs, and at one point, the laptop was missing from my kitchen table. I eventually found it in the foyer closet behind the TV trays where I felt sure I had not left it. There were other subtle changes in and around my desk that made me ponder, but not become overly concerned. At one point, I even discovered that one of my passwords had been tampered with and was no longer valid. Finally, I had to admit that I had been a victim of a hacker and it was possibly an inside job.

That was the dilemma. I live alone and even when I have guests, they rarely go into my study. Most of them are far more technologically advanced than I, so what would be their point? Granted, I do have friends who love a good prank, but the things happening were far below their potential. It was obvious that this was an amateur, possibly a first time saboteur.

The tide began to turn the other night when a friend emailed me that my blog had disappeared. I clicked over to check and they were right. It was gone. File not found. Blank screen with ‘Done’ at the bottom. Trying not to panic, I signed off then back on, however, “Being God’s” was still gone. I finally thought to go to the Dashboard and found it was there and the template and settings were still correct. I republished the blog and back it came from the depths of Blog Hades. There had been a NBDE – a near blog death experience. As I breathed a sigh of relief, it dawned on me who the culprit was. He had been right under my nose (and under my feet) all the time. Murphy! It all became very clear in that moment when I saw him trying to slink behind the kitchen table into the sunroom to hide. His face gave it away with a mixture of embarrassment, guilt, fear and a still slight degree of smugness.

Even though he has a bed and a water bowl in my study, I have always been able to tell he was jealous when I would spend time at the computer. His whimpers that he just HAD to go out, scratching on my leg because he just HAD to have a treat so he would not starve, the rolling on his back with eyes bugging out in the attempt to convince me he has having some sort of attack, anything to draw my attention away from the computer. I assume the final straw was when I set up my wireless router so I could invade his territory – the sofa – with my laptop. This demon machine now occupied my lap so that there was no room for Murphy. He knew something had to be done so he began his deliberate and premeditated acts of removing these items of technology from his house and his pet (which, according to Murphy’s viewpoint, I am the pet).

When I confronted him, he immediately accused Buddy of Jan's Funny Farm. Ever since Buddy challenged him to a bed making contest, Murphy has had a bit of an attitude. I told him that I knew this was not true because all the tests had been returned with conclusive findings. Being an avid fan of ‘24’ and ‘CSI’, I had already done the forensics and the paw prints and fur strands were definitely Murphy’s. After a few more feeble excuses, Murphy finally broke and confessed to the acts of sabotage. He had only felt like he needed to let me know that I was not spending enough quality time with him and, being in his golden years, he was not able to compete with computers, iPods and digital cameras. The sight of a grown dog whimpering and groveling in repentance was more than I could bear. I explained that I had jobs to do that required the use of a computer and those jobs are what bring in the money to support his rather cushy lifestyle. However, I conceded that I would limit my time online and would dedicate more to Murphytime.

The moral? Be kind to your four-legged children. They love you unconditionally and are always ready to please you. All they expect in return is a little scratch behind the ears, the occasional treat, nice evening walks in the park and first dibs on the lap.

If you can find some profound theological implication in this story, more power to you. But, just as a reminder…God Loves You unconditionally and He will always give you all the time you need.

Be God’s,


At 1:20 PM, Anonymous Buddy said...

Ha, ha, Jimmy. Jan didn't want me to read this story after you told her Murphy tried to blame me for your disappearing blog, but this is really funny. And I forgive Murphy. He's still my friend. I understand what it's like to be blamed. I get blamed a LOT! Now I know what to do when all the fingers and paws are pointing at me. I'll blame it on Murphy. He'll understand. Buddy

At 5:09 PM, Blogger JOE B said...

I JUST CAN NOT BELIEVE IT! I think the real story is, JIMMY and not Murphy is in his golden years. I think Jimmy is the one losing his password, BLOG, disks, USB cables, hair, memory. I think it is just sad when someone gets so old he has to blame things on his beloved pet. His pet who has beem with him for years. We all know that Murphy is so smart he would never be caught doing such a sophmoric prank. Nice try Mr. Jimmy, if that is your real name. I bet you put that down cause you couldn't even remember your real name. Now lay off the dogging on Murphy before his friends come to pay you a visit. You won't like it if we come to pay you a visit.

Friends of Murphy

At 6:20 PM, Blogger Biognome said...

Wow! Murphy sounds like a really smart dog!

At 2:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your writing - I enjoyed the story!

You mentioned that you do some freelance writing for magazines, etc... I am interested in doing some of that and just wanted to get your ideas on how to start. I left my email address and my writing blog web address below. Thanks and later on, -Brandon



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