The Alien Inside of Me - Part One

"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind." (James 1:5-6)

Raise your hands if you remember the scene in "Alien" where the baby alien bursts forth from the scientist's abdomen? I remember sitting there thinking and knowing what was about to happen, but could not look away until it was too late. Gee whiz, Beav, I bet that must of hurt a lot!

Do you ever feel that way? Like something is growing and gnawing at you from the inside and you just either want it to come on out because you don't think you can keep going like this? I have had this experience several times (not the alien bursting forth) where I had this feeling growing and gnawing and growing and gnawing until I wasn't sure what was to happen next. Being someone who was diagnosed years ago with generalized anxiety disorder, the feeling is somewhat similar, but (if you can believe it), much more intense in some ways. You can't sleep, you can't focus at work or at home, you can't pay attention to a television show or to conversations because of this all pervasive feeling you have.

Do you ever stop to ask God what might be going on? Or do you stay so busy that you push Him to the back of the line. Perhaps He is trying to tell you something, maybe He is convicting you of some attitude or behavior, He could be trying to lead you in a way that you are (even unconsciously) resisting. In my case, sometimes He is just trying to tell me to slow it down and take it easier on myself. Many times we tend to think if God is trying to talk with us that it must be to 'call us' to some far away country, but often He just wants to remind us of His love and concern for us. He might actually have something good for us to do, but we just keep ignoring Him.

I have had a gnawing in my spirit for awhile now about this whole blogging and writing deal. However, two writers named Fay Jacobs and Marc Acito; people whom I have never met but have read their columns and articles for several years inspired me to begin. We have corresponded on occasion and by their spirit, they have encouraged me to just write; to not try and make a big deal out of it and plan it till you are stressed out, but just get a pad and pen and write. Then go back and make sense of what you have written. Just look at what is going on around you and see what lessons there are to be learned.

My spirit is calmer these days except for the excitement about the future. The greatest novel ever to be written is still basically inside me, with some bits and pieces down on paper. I am actually a newspaper columnist now (which still amuses me) and will be able to use that outlet to share God with many more people in this county. I just pray that any pride or ego of mine will never get in the way of the message that needs to get out there.

But, what is gnawing at you? What is keeping you awake at night? What are your worries and concerns? It may be health, or family, or jobs, or indecision about a career change. It might be worry concerning finances, feeling alone, or being pulled in too many directions by too many people. I am certainly no expert on these things except for having lived through many of the above and learning that Through It All, there is always someone to whom you can turn. Claim the following verses:

I Peter 5:7 "Casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for You."
Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."

I am a single adult man living in a very married 2005. I have a close family, more friends than I deserve, a great church fellowship and a terrier with an attitude the size of most island nations, yet I am a single Christian guy with all the issues and emotions involved. However, I do not see this as a problem, but I see it as an opportunity to stay closely tuned to God and what He wants for me to do for His Kingdom.

I encourage all of you when the gnawing begins, to find that quiet space with God and ask Him for His guidance. He will not let you down. Ever.

Be God's,
Jimmy