All things being human.....

Well, it's been a week since I began observing Lent by the giving up of unnecessary computer time...Facebook, games, etc., and giving that time to more Godly pursuits....study, service, etc. The week has been tough at times (especially late evenings) because that is my normal FB and gaming time. All things being human, I must confess that I slipped yesterday. I had to do some research for a library guest about the local Lion's Club which involved my logging into Facebook for the information. The computers in the libraries here are blocked from the social networking sites and the patron came to the Reference desk and asked for my help. I did so without hesitation because it was a part of my job and job-related issues were exempt from my observance. However....I failed to close the screen after I finished and my weakness of humanity took over and I was like a fiend as I browsed through everything on my profiles and walls. Folks, I couldn't stop and my clicking was almost insatiable.


After a few minutes, I realized my self-control was gone, my heart began to hurt, and I logged off my account. For the rest of the day, I was really hard on myself as I knew I had failed myself and my intent to give these things up for just 40-days....sheesh...just 40 days...and I barely lasted a week. However, as I pondered late last night, read more in the T.D. Jakes book, and thought over many scriptures, I realized that this whole thing was bigger than just the Lenten observance deal. My biggest problem during my 50+ years has been the difficulty to forgive myself. It came to mind that "for such a time as this," it was time that I learn to do so. Until I can learn to forgive my failings, how can I experience the joy of God's forgiveness toward me? How can I feel the true experience of grace, when I continue to beat myself up over the smallest things?

So, maybe this was a good lesson for early in my journey this season. I did forgive myself, asked God to keep my mind focused on Him and His work around me, and set out to begin again this morning. I share all this at the risk of being misunderstood....Facebook and computer stuff is not wrong or inherently evil. It is just something I have isolated in my life that has interfered with my time that could be given for growing in my walk with God. One of my goals during Lent is to learn the moderation and self-discipline I need.


Coming up.....a good friend has asked me to become involved in a program in downtown Atlanta for feeding and caring for the homeless. Where once I avoided this group like a plague, I now look forward to becoming involved in this ministry. Little steps for little feet, so to speak.


So, the second week begins with a renewed spirit and hope for the next few weeks of learning and growing. Stay tuned, I'm sure more adventures will follow. And for today my friends, this has been the gospel according to Jimmy.