"Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words." - St. Francis of Assisi

Friday, November 20, 2009

Things have been rather wild in Jimmy-world lately. Working at the Library in town, doing media/press for a local Mayor's re-election campaign, finding and writing grants for a Children's Literacy campaign, plus all the responsibilities of a church musician. Not that the wildness has been a bad thing, just a wild thing.
For some reason, I have been consumed with reading over the past few months....even to the point where I have neglected my writing and music. All this has thrown me off-kilter somewhat. Not good, Jimbo.
It's been a year ago this week that I was in the hospital with a "mild" heart episode and was made to realize that it was time for me to leave my newspaper job and find something else. However, the downside of working for the paper was I kinda lost my touch of writing for the fun of it....for the enjoyment...for the God of it. It has been a week of thinking back on that time and figuring out where I am now. But, as Jeremiah tells us, God knows the plans for my life better than I could ever could. (Jer. 29:11).
My time seems to be consumed with concern over a family member who is struggling with alcoholism and pharmaceuticals. Not admitting the problem, this person continues to create a lot of worry and stress, yet I still feel the need to fix it. There doesn't seem to be anybody here on earth for me to talk with about it...friends are all facing their own crises and I don't need to add to their burdens (or allow them to add their burdens to mine). I just want someone to listen to me. Because of the family situations and dynamics, I am not able to go a minister...been to a Christian counselor, but that didn't help except to spend an excessive amount of money and creating more debt.
The bright side is that I am really, really blessed with a good family, friends, and church family. I just hate feeling that I need to keep "the Christian happy mask" on all the time when I would just like to crawl into bed for awhile....or camp out on the sofa in the sunroom....or go to the beach....or the mountains...just go somewhere. But, I do know that God is walking with me. Guiding. Nudging. Whispering. Hugging. Letting me know that He is in charge and I really don't need to worry. So, I'm working on that half (the worrying part, that is), and it is working better with each day.
I knew I could get some thoughts out here on "Being God's"...whether anyone reads or not. This was my intent in the beginning; to share about the struggles and joys of a single guy trying to live a life for God in a very hostile world.
Until then, for today this has been the gospel according to Jimmy.


Post a Comment

<< Home