"Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words." - St. Francis of Assisi

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

And the Hand of God continues to Form Me....

"Thou art the potter, I am the clay."

You know, it seems that by the time you reach a certain age and point in life that God would certainly have either gotten you to the place He wants you to be, or would have just finally given up. Just my luck, I am becoming more and more aware that He hasn't given up on me as of yet. These past weeks have been a tough period of the breaking of my will while God tries to teach me something that I obviously have not caught onto yet. Just a brief recap of what I'm figuring out then I'll ask for your prayers and support while I continue to seek God's way. It's a painful time for me, but that's the beauty of finally yielding to God.....when the Potter finally gets the clay to the place He wants, the calm and peace is a beautiful place. My problem is that I continue to try to second guess God and do what I think I want to do.

The new (post-retirement) job is wearing me out....physically and spiritually. Since the first of October, I am working 7 days a week and averaging 60 hours each week. I keep thinking that it will get better, but nope...I think this is about the way it is gonna be. My daily time with God is being replaced by spreadsheets, payroll and a couple hours of quick sleep before the next day begins. My writing is suffering because I am so tired that my creative juices are replaced by the need for sleep (which is becoming non-existent). The book is way behind schedule and I'm not sure I've got the energy, desire or time to finish it.

There were three things that I've always wanted to do when I retired:
1. To finish up my seminary degree (I just got notice that the school placed me on inactive status since I am not up to date for their schedule of degree completion). There is just not time nor funds for me to continue the education.
2. To return to an area of vocational ministry. All the doors for that have been shut as I approach them. Not just shut, but sometimes slammed in my face.
3. To be able to write and share what God has taught and is teaching me through the daily adventures I seem to have. That I have done through this blog and was hoping to accomplish through my book.....and as I said earlier, the book is looking further and further away. This is the part that hurts the worst.

So, all the above things that I wanted for myself are now pretty much squat. I have parents who are aging that I would like to spend more time with, but I don't have the time. I'd like to have an evening to just chill out in front of the fire with a good book, but there's no time. I would like to get another dog, but.....he'd definitely be a lonely pup. (ok...whine time is now over).

God knows what He is doing. I don't. I have found myself trying to put deadlines on what to do....such ask, how long to give myself before I look for another job with less hours and much less stress. Again, I need the patience and wisdom to just rely on God and search for His will for my life. I need to get back into His Word on a regular basis. Above all, I need His calm assurance that things are gonna work out.

Thanks to so many of you faithful friends and readers, I have somewhere to turn when I need to get things off my heart and into my (and your) prayers. Thanks for your constant encouragement to me.

Jimmy

9 Comments:

At 5:05 AM, Blogger *~Tey~* said...

G'day Jimmy!

I'm not sure what to say to you. I was going to suggest getting a new job, as it obviously is not giving you time for your dreams and ambitions. But then I thought "maybe he loves his job..". All I can say, I guess, is that if you don't like your job, then why are you letting it stand in the way of your dreams. It doesn't seem worth it. A job shouldn't take that much out of you.

I guess Praying for God to lead you to the right decision is what you could do until it becomes clear what you should do.

You're on my thoughts and prayers and I really hope things get better for you.

 
At 7:18 AM, Blogger ramblingmuse said...

Hi there,

I came across your blog a while back and must say...you're a talented writer and your faith is to be admired!

Keep on keeping on. That's all He ever really asks us to do, right?

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

- RM

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Paul said...

Hi Jimmy,

Just blogging by to catch up on my reading, to see how things are going.

I will be keeping you in my prayers brother that the Lord bring peace and rest to you.

I know that for the last three years that I have basically been on the potters wheel, the Lord has been doing a lot of work, refining and Hill Country Thought's was birthed.

I know that the Lord will bring forth in you His plans and the day will come and you will look back and say, how about that.

I look back now and see what He has done and is doing still, though at the time I was not sure about a whole lot, other than the fact that He loved me and was carrying me through the battles.

Be blessed my friend. It is always a blessing to blog by.

Writing for the King,

Paul

 
At 8:58 PM, Blogger curious servant said...

I enjoy writing also. That is the wondrous thing about blogging. There isn't any need for expertise or an editor or a publisher. And readership is much more personal. I actually get to know my readers a little bit.

I'll be back.

Oh yes... I really like the banner pic at the top of your blog.

God bless.

 
At 11:29 PM, Blogger Jimmy said...

Tey and Muse...it's always good to hear from you both and thanks for your dropping by and for your prayers and encouragement. Things are going better for me.

Paul, I'm glad you dropped in. I always find encouragement from your site and writings. Hopefully, someday we can meet over a cup of coffee at your Starbucks and spend the day in fellowship and chatting.

Curious, I've read a lot of your writing and seen your comments on other sites. Thank you for visiting and hope you come back often. I'm not often so down and whiney!

 
At 8:38 PM, Blogger JOE B said...

Jimmy, Not to put any more pressure on you but we have been trying to have a low country boil for the past two years. You told me once you retired we would get to do that. And we have not had lunch since you took this new job. The "V" is calling my friend.
Joe B

 
At 11:23 PM, Blogger Jimmy said...

JoeB - methinks that the last boil was scheduled for your house and you cancelled out on us...

 
At 7:55 PM, Blogger Bar Bar A said...

Hey Jimmy, I am sort of new to your blog so I don’t understand why you are working if you are retired and how you can be retired if you are so young. I’m not trying to be nosey – I just feel like I don’t have all the info. But what I DO know, is that you seem like a very wise man and I hope that you find the time to do the things that are in your heart. God gives us the desires of our heart so He gave you the desire to write, to spend time with your parents and to get another dog (which is a great idea if you ask me).

Praying for you. I’m going to stop by more often 
Barbara

 
At 12:29 AM, Blogger Vicki said...

Jimmy, you've often been on my heart and I've wondered what happened to you. When I read how dog-tired you are, all I can say is, His yoke is easy. I've been through similar hours and office stress, and God finally showed me that I was totally beating myself to death, doing everything but what He had called me to do. I can't speak for your situation--only the Lord can. I will definitely pray all the more while you seek His Will and timing for things. Your parents and friends need to see you once in awhile, Jimmy.

blessings,
Vicki

 

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