And the Hand of God continues to Form Me....

"Thou art the potter, I am the clay."

You know, it seems that by the time you reach a certain age and point in life that God would certainly have either gotten you to the place He wants you to be, or would have just finally given up. Just my luck, I am becoming more and more aware that He hasn't given up on me as of yet. These past weeks have been a tough period of the breaking of my will while God tries to teach me something that I obviously have not caught onto yet. Just a brief recap of what I'm figuring out then I'll ask for your prayers and support while I continue to seek God's way. It's a painful time for me, but that's the beauty of finally yielding to God.....when the Potter finally gets the clay to the place He wants, the calm and peace is a beautiful place. My problem is that I continue to try to second guess God and do what I think I want to do.

The new (post-retirement) job is wearing me out....physically and spiritually. Since the first of October, I am working 7 days a week and averaging 60 hours each week. I keep thinking that it will get better, but nope...I think this is about the way it is gonna be. My daily time with God is being replaced by spreadsheets, payroll and a couple hours of quick sleep before the next day begins. My writing is suffering because I am so tired that my creative juices are replaced by the need for sleep (which is becoming non-existent). The book is way behind schedule and I'm not sure I've got the energy, desire or time to finish it.

There were three things that I've always wanted to do when I retired:
1. To finish up my seminary degree (I just got notice that the school placed me on inactive status since I am not up to date for their schedule of degree completion). There is just not time nor funds for me to continue the education.
2. To return to an area of vocational ministry. All the doors for that have been shut as I approach them. Not just shut, but sometimes slammed in my face.
3. To be able to write and share what God has taught and is teaching me through the daily adventures I seem to have. That I have done through this blog and was hoping to accomplish through my book.....and as I said earlier, the book is looking further and further away. This is the part that hurts the worst.

So, all the above things that I wanted for myself are now pretty much squat. I have parents who are aging that I would like to spend more time with, but I don't have the time. I'd like to have an evening to just chill out in front of the fire with a good book, but there's no time. I would like to get another dog, but.....he'd definitely be a lonely pup. (ok...whine time is now over).

God knows what He is doing. I don't. I have found myself trying to put deadlines on what to do....such ask, how long to give myself before I look for another job with less hours and much less stress. Again, I need the patience and wisdom to just rely on God and search for His will for my life. I need to get back into His Word on a regular basis. Above all, I need His calm assurance that things are gonna work out.

Thanks to so many of you faithful friends and readers, I have somewhere to turn when I need to get things off my heart and into my (and your) prayers. Thanks for your constant encouragement to me.

Jimmy