Why Not Me?

A twelve-year old boy sat in his room one Saturday night and couldn't concentrate on the television, a book or anything. All he kept asking was "Why not me, God? Why not me? I should have been in the car with them, but at the last minute the plans changed. If I had been in there would I have been killed? Would I be crippled? Would maybe my best friend not have died?"

Perhaps because of his infancy in Christ, the boy didn't hear God answer. All he felt was loneliness and that funny ache in his heart and stomach, then more loneliness. The funeral was held the next day and the boy watched as the other boy he had played with, confided with, argued with, but always considered his best friend was eulogized and watched as they lowered his casket into the ground. "I don't understand, God. Why is he dead? He was just twelve years old and I didn't think twelve year old kids could die. Why can't he come over to my house this week like he always does? Why was I not there and because of that, I am still alive and unhurt?"

The boy grew to be a man and at times would occasionally forget about his best friend from childhood, but when he did remember, the question was still there.....unanswered......"Why not me, God? Why not me?"

One day, totally unexpected, God answered the boy who was now a man. During a sermon one Sunday, the Pastor quoted a verse from Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for welfare and not for calamity and to give you a future and a hope."

And then later, the boy heard the verse that would become the theme-verse for his life.
"Who knows but for such a time as this that you have been placed in this position?" (Esther 4:14)

The man realized that perhaps God wanted him to be here to serve Him by using a gift of music that had been given him, to serve Him with the BSU, NAMB and local churches in mission trips to Charleston, New York City, Washington DC, St Simons Island and other places by sharing the message of "God Loves You and So Do I". Or, to serve Him in trying to be a positive adult leader and friend to teenagers and younger adults looking for their own answers to their walk with God. Perhaps God wanted the man to stay so that he could learn how to minister through church recreation and sports so that many people would come to a church and know the Love of God through these avenues. He may have wanted him to be here for the strength and spiritual maturity he has gained from his friends.

The answer is still being answered for this boy who is now a man. How do I know? As I'm sure you've guessed by now, the boy, the man, is me. And the question is continually being answered by God as I try to stay receptive to His leading me in the paths that He wants. A change is coming in my life. I know this with all certainty because I have felt the leading before and I've written of that in an earlier post. A new avenue of ministry, perhaps? I don't know and I don't worry about it because the boy who cried out to God many years ago, now has the answer.

"You are are still here, my son, because I needed you here. Because you were here, other people have been blessed whether by your words or your actions and you may never have known about it. Just know that I have plans for you and will watch after you as you follow in the path I have for you. Above all, know that I love you and I love your friend who is now with me."

Let me encourage any of you reading this that God has you in His plan, whether you realize it or not. He loves you and he will use you in any place that you happen to be. Just stay faithful and strong and seek His way.

Be God's,
Jimmy