I Didn't Want To Go To Church Today

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work in you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6 NLT)

I didn’t want to go to church this morning. Yeah, I’m probably the only one brave (or stupid) enough to actually admit it, but I know that there are others out there. Knowing that members of my church, and other churches where I’ve been are probably reading this, I hope this doesn’t destroy your image of the spiritual, holy, consecrated Jimmy. Sorry, but today I would have been much more interested in heading to IHOP or Denny’s with coffee and a good book.

The tough thing about being a musician or any other staff person for a church is that you have to be there at o’dark thirty in the morning on Sunday and be all smiley, happy clappy and spiritually “on.” Every. Single. Sunday. Plus, my fingers are old and don’t work so well at first light. Much less the hand-eye-finger coordination needed to play keyboard while it’s still dark outside and the woodland creatures are just beginning to stir. Get the drift? Fifty weeks out of the year, it’s no problem and I’m up, playing and worshiping with all sincerity and genuine closeness to God. Today. Not. So. Much.

It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to worship and be with fellow believers, that’s truthfully the highlight of my week. I can’t put a finger on it; I just didn’t care about going today. The problem I have with myfeeling and sharing this goes back to the fact that I worry about you judging me. I see so many posts on Facebook and other mediums that indicate that you are so happy in the Lord 24/7/365, quoting your verses and sharing your daily devotion writers, giving the impression that your life is so wonderful….well, that just makes me feel cruddy when a day like today comes and I just don’t want to go. Because you always want to go to church and can’t understand why people like memight not want to go on any given Sunday. I worry about this because I never see the human side of you. I would like to not care, but I do.

However, I finally did have church. About 12 noon. In my car on the way home. Just me and Jesus. And it was good. I reflected on our services and recalled the five new members of our faith family that were baptized. The stirring music, the inspiring and on-point message, the friendliness of the fellowship, praying for a team heading to Zimbabwe this week for Kingdom work. I heard about several community ministries going on in the area. It was a good morning….just not (for me) until noon.

What am I learning from this day in my faith journey? For one thing, that church can happen in a small congregation of twenty people, in a large congregation of a thousand or driving alone in your car as you fly down Hwy. 138 steering with one hand as you raise the other one in praise (along with your Dr. Pepper). Plus, God doesn’t really care about me not wanting to go this one morning, as long as I acknowledge his Presence in my life and do the best I can with what I have been given. And, as long as I don’t forsake the community of believers all together. Finally, from a personal standpoint, may I never write (or post) anything that causes someone else to feel inadequate about their walk with God. May I always be transparent, especially if it causes you to think seriously about how your journey is going. And to encourage you a little.

And for today my friends, this has been the gospel according to Jimmy.